How To Not Be A Gentleman
Is this tmi?
Nobody told me how it would feel to be catcalled. At least not the way I felt when it happened. That it would be a shock. That I would feel so degraded, so dirty, and want to be alone for a moment to process it. That I would wish, for a moment, that I could change my body back to a child’s. That I could hide that I’m a woman. That I would have all the thoughts of a comeback play through my mind, knowing even if I had the words, I wouldn't have had the courage to say them.
That it would feel so terrible to be looked at like a piece of meat, treated like a pretty plaything.
I don’t even know why we call it catcalling. That makes it seem like a little thing with a funny name instead of being unacceptable, objectifying, and vulgar.
I was walking with my little brother when it happened. This guy had no shame about a small child hearing this. I was so glad that my brother didn’t notice at all. It was pretty loud around us. These are the examples of manhood out in public for little boys, and it needs to change.
I guess this could be a big piece with a lot of social commentary, but I just wanted to put my few thoughts about it here. It's not some big think piece about feminism or whatever, just a plea for human decency. This was the first time it happened to me and how I felt. It’s not played up for effect. I’ve heard a couple of whistles before, but each time I wasn’t even sure it was directed toward me. This time was different. I think that creepy guy and his words will stick with me for a long time. But I hope when I remember how degraded I felt, I will try to use my words to dignify people instead.
I think some people might think it’s not such a big deal. Or say shake it off. Yes, in a perfect world, I wouldn’t find my worth in the things people think about me. I’m trying. But it’s the job of creeps to leave women alone.
In Genesis chapter one, the Bible tells us we were all made in God's image. Because of that, we all have worth—more worth than anything else God created. Plants and animals weren’t made in his likeness, only humans. So we need to act like people are worth something, even if it’s a stranger we’ll never see again.
It has been a little while since this happened, and I don’t feel so upset about it now. I guess writing it helped take that emotion away.
I cringe a little to put these deep emotions out for other people to read, but maybe somebody needs to hear that it is not okay for men to objectify, even if they are just casually walking by. And if somebody did it to you, you are not alone and are worth more than their words.
~Mandalynn
I'll admit, I had to Google the word, "catcalling," and yes I'm a man. Frankly it's disgusting, because as an author I know words have power. Sadly many of our species lack empathy, or blinded by power, money, ego.
Everything has worth, (remove bees, no pollination,) and if your faith comforts you that's fine. But as a writer I visit many dimensions, some even have sentient creatures that can converse. Ok, I'll amit it, maybe a talking Border Collie was taking it too far.😉
Amen to this. The problem is that men, as boys, haven’t been properly disciplined and loved by their mothers and fathers for the last three decades - much less grown up in Christ-loving homes. Today’s vulgarity is the result.